Spaghetti for the Soul

Warning : This is a vent post. Usually I am a happy, cheerful, contented person, but being blue once in a while is also important as it gets us in touch with our inner self and brings to our awareness, the things in our lives that we need to change. Or so I'm told.

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Sometimes I'm convinced that some women are put on this Earth (and Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and fashion magazines that make you feel ugly  - shout out to Barz Luhrman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI) to make you feel bad about yourself. Of course this is entirely my own self-construct (/destruct) brought about by days when I already feel blue, but let me put in words what normal, slightly overwhelmed mothers with no outside help, earning peanuts (or paid in hugs) feel when confronted with such a reality (or illusion that is passed off as reality in our state of blueness). We start to ask ourselves, why are we given this end of the stick? Why are we not born blond and beautiful or brunette and svelte? I mean that 30-year-old model has 2 kids and still looks amazing and is lauded for looking amazing on the catwalk after a mere 6 weeks of giving birth (while I looked and felt like a cross between a cow and a dugong), and has $8 million in her bank account to boot.  Or how about an (ex) supermodel who is merely 4 years older than me but caused an online uproar at how amazing she looked in her non-photoshopped photos, and how perfect her family is (all perfect skin and teeth and probably with an IQ of 160, due to her perfect mothering I suppose). Or how another uh.ma.zing mother of 4 (4!!) small children appeared on  Huffingtonpost with perfect hair, make-up and body with the brazen tagline "What's your excuse?". Really just makes me want to stop trying because whatever I do, I don't think I can reach these pinnacles of perfection, right? Might as well not work, wear pyjamas the whole day, don't wash my hair, don't wear makeup, eat all the crunchy fried chicken, eat nutella by the bottle and outsource the bringing up of my kids to kindergartens and schools that would probably do a better job of nurturing their intellect.

(A week later.....)

(actually no...I was just being a drama queen...)

But I just can't do it. I just can't have smelly hair and eat fried chicken all day long and outsource my children to kindergartens and schools. I realised we humans are wired to want to be the best we can be and that is why it is so darn difficult to accept that our best is perhaps not enough. Or maybe I am speaking for myself. But one thing is clear, I can choose. I can choose to look at those women as a reminder and a reflection of who I am (woefully) not, or I can take them as examples of women who have managed to use their strengths to succeed in their various niches and thus remind myself of my own strengths and to look for my own niche to succeed in.

And so today is another day where I will give my best (and convince myself that it is enough). And hug my children and husband tightly when they come home and give them homecooked food to eat, because I think for now, that is my niche. Because it is damn tough to be everything to everyone and credit should be given for trying (credit should also be given to good ol' homecooked food for nourishing the soul as well as the body, and thus, this post on Spaghetti for the Soul).

 

Ingredients (for 2 adults and 2 children)

For the pasta

• Half a pack of spaghetti or linguine, cooked until al dente according to packet  instructions. 

Start making the sauce first. While the sauce is simmering, cook the pasta and save about 1/3 cup of the pasta water to add to the sauce.

For the sauce

• 300ml passata tomatoes (or canned tomatoes)
• 1 tablespoon of butter
• 1 tablespoon of sugar
• A pinch of salt and pepper
• 1 teaspoon of garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon of balsamic vinegar
• 100ml chicken or vegetable stock (or water)
• 2 eggs

Pour everything except the 2 eggs into a pan and let them simmer merrily together for about 20 minutes, occassionally stirring it to make sure nothing sticks to the bottom. Season to taste. At the 15th minute, crack the 2 eggs in and cover, undisturbed. Check after 3 minutes that the whites are cooked and the yolks are still runny. Turn off heat and remove pan. We need the yolks runny for the sauce.

Breadcrumb topping

• Breadcrumbs from about 4 pieces of white bread (ciabatta, foccacia, baguette all work well or about 2 cups of Panko breadcrumbs)
• A pinch of salt, pepper and garlic powder
• A teaspoon of rosemary or dried herbs of your choice
• Zest from half a lemon
• A teaspoon of olive oil or butter

Put the oil together with all the other ingredients into a small frying pan. Stir and keep and eye on it as once it gets brown, it gets brown really quickly. Once the crumbs are light brown and crunchy and the lemony-herb scent hit your nose, turn of heat and remove breadcrumbs into a bowl.

Assembly

• Drain your pasta and pour back into the pot.
• Add the sauce to your pasta and stir stir stir to make sure that the yolks break and emulsify into the sauce and that each spaghetti strand is slickly coated. It is alright to leave some of the cooked egg whites in chunks.
• Add a half of the pasta water and stir again. Cover the pot and do not disturb for about 3-5 minutes. Add more pasta water if you need more sauce.
• Then stir again and place in bowls.
• Add a healthy serving of the crunchy breadcrumb topping and add some grated parmesan and lots of freshly cracked pepperand chilli flakes if you wish.

Twist and slurp away and feel better :-)